I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
