CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
