I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
