then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I deserve this hangover.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
