So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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