Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
