He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
