I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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