Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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