I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
