I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
