so explain again why im purple
no
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
