im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
