Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
