The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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