Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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