Will you blow on my dice?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
