I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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