nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
