What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
