Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
