Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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