is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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