can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
