You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Someone signed my nipple.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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