hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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