I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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