I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You can't just leave with hair like that
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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