there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
