I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
