I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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