Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
