If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
