So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
