When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
ttyl tear gas
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
