I didn't shave. On purpose
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
