No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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