the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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