Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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