you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
