What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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