Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
