Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
