After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
