My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
