In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
