She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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