Buhtt sex?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
The ass gains better be worth it
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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