Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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