found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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