It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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